Potential dates often show up in a larger group of contacts such as a professional association or special interest organization. Perhaps you meet through friends or business contacts. All are good places to start.

When you move into actual dating, consider taking a few of these precautions.

• Arrange to have the first few dates in public places.

• Arrange to meet him or her at the agreed-upon place.

By meeting you avoid exposing your home address until you know the person better.

By taking your own transportation you are not dependent on your date and you can leave if you need to.

• Only give your cell phone number.

• Tell one or more of your friends who you are going with, where you met the person, and where you plan to go, as well as contact numbers for both of you.

• Tell someone when you expect to return and who to call in case you don’t turn up by an agreed-upon time.

• Consider lunch for first contacts. These are time-limited occasions. If you can’t stand him or her for the duration of a lunch date you know not to consider any further contact. Also, if you are going Dutch treat, lunch costs less than dinner.

• Consider a group kind of activity for the first or other early dates. Think in terms of safety in numbers.

After going through early dating stage precautions, such as taking your own vehicle or public transportation and meeting at a public place, what’s next? When you agree to move to the next level, which involves adding some degree of privacy, other factors come into play.

Agreeing to more privacy and seclusion means you are agreeing to more risk. However, this is no time to drop your level of awareness. You need to continue paying attention to subtle signals and details which may be important in the future. If you are to stay alert you should avoid compromising your abilities with either alcohol or drugs.

While over-indulging may reduce your anxiety somewhat, it also affects your judgment. It dulls your senses. Even worse, it reduces your self defense capacity. If you are drunk or under the influence of drugs, you are in no shape to protect yourself.

Avoid the temptation to handle your nervousness by having a couple of extra drinks. Instead, spend the time listening to your companion and paying attention to details.

And remember not to take a drink you aren’t sure about.

The largest number of assaults occurs during the morning hours, usually around 8:30 a.m. The timing seems to be related, at least in part, to early morning risers who want to get their shopping out of the way before the crowd shows up. It also includes mommies who have gotten the husband and kids out the door and are finally free to tend to shopping and other errands.

Here are some using self defense tips for your personal safety:

1. Before walking out the door, make time to dump the nonessentials. If you’re not loaded down you are not as attractive a target because you can move more freely. Carry only items you must have with you. Be sure to make a copy of important items like your driver’s license, credit cards (front and back), and any emergency medical alert data.

2. Wear comfortable shoes. It’s tough to elude a bad guy if you’re teetering around on high heels.

3. Park near a light and as close to the building as you can.

4. If a big vehicle is parked right next to you, on the driver’s side, enter through the passenger door. Serial killers usually attack while the women are trying to get into their cars and then force them into a large vehicle (usually a van with few windows).

5. Once you get into your vehicle, LEAVE. Save texting, list making, and checking your makeup for later.

• Lethal Weapons – These typically take the form of either a knife or firearm of some sort. While they do have lethal stopping powers, the danger is that the bad guys can take them away and use them against you. Think long and hard before choosing one of these.

• Non Lethal Weapons – These are great options, especially for newbies in the field of self defense. Stun guns or pepper spray can make you very unattractive as a target. Besides that, if taken away and used against you, it’s not likely that you will die from the experience. You will be uncomfortable, for sure, but probably not expire.

• Martial Arts – Practitioners are right when they say it takes not just years but decades to hone their skills. This is great for long-term consideration, but not much help for the upcoming weekend.

• Self Defense Classes – These are a great option for beginners. Most communities offer some form of classes. Community centers and local law enforcement agencies (or off-duty police officers who want to make a difference) may offer classes. Martial arts dojos may offer their own variation on the theme, too.

If none of these fancy options appeals to you, you can start by attaching a simple little whistle to your key ring. It can make a lot more noise than you can.

• Look for an introductory series with a limited number of classes.

• Avoid buying a lot of expensive equipment (or clothing) until you know you want to stick around for additional training beyond the introductory self defense hook.

• Find out who is going to provide the instruction. Some dojos (that’s like an oriental gym where martial arts are practiced) reserve their senior instructors for upper level students. While that’s okay, you still want to be in a class with someone who knows what he/she is doing.

• Be sure that the instructor for your classes has legitimate ranking. Find out where he or she took training and how long they have been training.

• Find out the name of the accrediting agency that stands behind his or her ranking.

• Research how long the dojo has been in business. While it is true that there are legitimate young dojos, asking around to find out the reputation of the leading instructors can provide a good look at the character of the establishment.

Begin with how you leave your residence.

• If you are in a house, do you go directly into the garage or do you have to leave the house and make your way to the driveway or carport?

• Look around for potential hiding places such as dense bushes or a huge dumpster. While you may not control where the waste containers are located, you can trim your foliage and ask the neighbors to do the same.

Think through the path you take from your vehicle to the workplace.

• Have you been parking in a dimly lit, underground garage? Are there other options?

• Do you have to take an elevator that has no video camera inside it?

• Avoid being alone in places where you could not get help quickly.

When running errands, don’t let being in a hurry compromise your safety.

• Be sure to put your cash away before leaving the building.

• Have your keys, plus pepper spray or stun gun, in hand.

• Keep your head up and look around. Stay alert.

One of the most dangerous parts of the day is when you are returning to your home – after work or at night. You are tired and want nothing more than to get inside to relax.

• Do not relax until you are safely inside, with the door locked.

• Look around as you reach your parking space.

• Scan the area before you get out of the car.

• If anything is “off” stay in your locked car and call for support or drive away and get help.

• Doors with glass inserts or installed between glass “sidelights,” can be broken through easily, especially if the glass is not tempered or is single-paned.

• If deadbolt locks with twisting lock mechanisms are installed within arms reach of vulnerable glass areas, they are little help. Therefore, keyed deadbolt entry on outside AND inside improve security levels.

• Do not hang or place deadbolt keys beside glass inserts. Once the glass is broken, it is an easy matter to snag the key and unlock the door, rather than clamber through broken glass.

• Visibility through windows – even high ones – can compromise safety. Many women do not realize how easy it is for a tall man to peer through a high window in the front door. Consider applying translucent contact paper to the panes to allow light but they can’t be seen through.

• When choosing doors, be certain the door hinge is on the inside, out of reach. Hinges on the outside can be breached by simply removing the pins. Bad plan.

• Install good quality locking mechanisms. Given that locks usually function mainly to make it more difficult, but not impossible to enter, their main usefulness is to increase the amount of time it takes to get inside. The longer it takes to defeat the locks, the less attractive the target.

• Even the best locks are useless if not actually used. Get in the habit of locking doors and windows. Train the children to lock doors when they go inside, except for specific entry to safe play areas.

• Mount motion sensitive lighting all around the house. Be sure they cover all possible door and window access points to the house.

• Install security lighting that will come on at dusk and go off at daybreak. Direct them toward secluded areas blocked from view by bushes or outbuildings.

• Consider having a security system installed. It should include circuits on doors and windows, as well as motion detectors. If you have pets or children you will have special considerations to discuss with the security company. Get their input and take your family’s habits into consideration before making a final decision regarding equipment.

• Lock all doors (and hatchbacks and tailgates) of family vehicles at all times.

• Arrange for all gates in fencing to be secured. Be sure to take into consideration the city and other utility workers who might need access to meters or sanitation equipment. They may require leaving unlocked once or twice a month. It will take only a couple of phone calls to get the necessary information for keeping your family safe and allowing others to do their jobs.

• Some homeowners put a security company sign in the yard even if they don’t have the coverage. They think it may be enough to deter some criminals. Make up your own mind.

Self defense at home requires preparation in terms of equipment, but it also requires the thoughtful approach of building in habits consistent with safety. Virtually everyone in the household must be educated, trained, and in the habit of contributing to keeping the home front secure.

You could have the best locks money can buy, but they are useless if not locked.

The best security system in the world is a waste of money if not armed and connected.

Security companies, locksmiths, and members of the local law enforcement agencies are trained in helping homeowners who are concerned with safety. Call on their resources.

• If you like to sleep with the windows partly open, install a sliding latch mechanism (like on stall doors in public restrooms) that will allow for air circulation at various levels but keep them from being opened enough for someone to gain entry. After mounting the hardware on the window, just drill a few spaced holes in the frame.

• Plant bougainvilleas or some other spiky, unfriendly plants immediately below windows in the back and/or side of the house. Train prickly plants up a trellis which is mounted on a hinged post, latched to the eaves, and can be tilted away from the house at painting time.

• Arrange for window coverings that provide privacy AND do not leave your home open for the inspection of prying eyes. During the day sheer curtains let in light but don’t usually allow much to be seen. At night, however, when lights are on inside, they are useless for privacy. Closed blinds or shutters and opaque drapes will, however, do the job nicely.

NOTE: Vertical blinds allow visual access from one direction unless completely closed.